Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Foreign Food Roundup (3 of 3): McAdventures

Vincent Vega wasn’t just a-whistling Dixie when he expounded upon the virtues of a trip to another country’s McDonald's. But sometimes those little differences at De Gouden Bogen take a back seat to the bigger ones.

I’ll start little and work my way up.


That big fella in the middle there is the NYCrispy, native to Spain. The crispy part comes from fried onion bits in the sandwich, fried onion specks on the bun, fried bacon strips in the sandwich, and tiny fried bacon cubes on the bun. What does the NYCrispy have to do with New York? I have no idea. But it doesn’t matter. Any time you can find a way to double-bacon your sandwich, you get a pass on what you name it. It could have been called the NYCrystalmeth for all I cared.


This is a McFarm. Nestled snugly on a bed of soft bun and under a blanket of lettuce, tomato, onion, and cheese was a delicious patty of...meat. Because I don’t speak Greek (we found this edible mystery in Athens), I don’t know if what I ate was pig, lamb, goat, sheep, cow, chicken, or some unholy combination thereof. But anything goes well with fries (how are McDonald's fries so consistent everywhere?) and Coke, and if I could speak Greek I’d only have asked about the animal out of curiosity. It did what all McDonald's food is supposed to do: fill you with empty sustenance and a mild sense of regret.


Forget retail marijuana and storefront prostitution. What Amsterdam should really start regulating is these crazy deep fried balls. What are they filled with? Sausage and gravy? Cheese and mushrooms? Some sort of snail? No one knows! Actually, I'm sure many people know what's in them. It's not hard to learn. All you have to do is speak or read Dutch. Which I don't. Sigh. That’s what I get for growing up in a giant country where you only need to speak one language.


Adios, amigos!


The midnight PATH train
is full of sleeping people.
And some are standing.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Artist

The artist can say
what most men would not admit
(or do not notice).

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Foreign Food Roundup (2 of 3): Pulpo

We ordered this to be adventurous. Sort of like a dare. We didn’t expect it to be good. Grilled, the outside is like crispy chicken skin. The inside is firm, kind of like swordfish. I can't believe we ate the whole thing.

Next: McFarm and the NYCrispy

Friday, October 16, 2009

Haiku Wednesday, Friday Edition

Whoops. I neglected
to post a haiku on time.
Will you forgive me?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Foreign Food Roundup (1 of 3): Soft Drinks

Judging from my blog entries, it might seem like all I ate in Europe was potato chips and candy bars. And not very often, at that. Not true, friends. In fact I ate many other things. I’ll share a few highlights, for those of you who are into that sort of thing. Today we’ll have a look at all the different times I enjoyed Coca-Cola Classic (which is the easiest thing to order -- everyone everywhere calls it Coke). Also I'll throw in some non-Coke soft drinks for good measure.


On a Maltese bus:

On a Maltese beach:

Spanish soft drink (with the famous ham chips):

Tunisian Coca-Cola and Tunisian apple soft drink:

Next: pulpo.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


October has come
and with it chilled autumn air
and longing for youth.